Does someone necessarily wears the pant?

Does equality in a marriage exists? Or for that, matter in any relationship? Or there always is a power imbalance?

I think the power struggle exists. Sometimes it is subtle and sometimes not so subtle. It isn’t wise to consider my own relationship dynamics and believe this is how the world works. Too small a subset if you ask me.

So I look around and the more I notice the more evident it seems. Between couples, who on paper are equally strong – academically, professionally and financially, and yet the decision making is most often tilted towards one partner or the other. But of course, relations are anything but theoretical. So it happens, one partner automatically gets on the driver’s seat and the other most often looks for approvals and support.

While I have a whole group of friends where I see the household machinery moving very smoothly with each one taking charge of things they feel more competent and capable of. And so I know that balanced relations do exist. But is this a far small group that I am talking about? Like all other utopian situations, a balanced relationship is a minority?

So in marriages where one spouse comfortably wears the proverbial pant, how does the other cope? Is there a sense of being dominated? Or is it easy to give in and follow? What do you think?

This entry was posted in Straight from the heart and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Does someone necessarily wears the pant?

  1. Tara says:

    I think its quite comforting and reassuring to have a relationship where each one does come forward without even needing to consult and takes the lead in decision making or planning or things like that. It, to my mind, will be a parasitic relation if one needs to or gets to do this all the time. I can only sympathize with those in such relationships.. be it friends, couples or anybody..

  2. Manasi says:

    HI Iya, this is my 1st comment on ur blog, though I have been a silent reader for a while now!

    I think there is no one ‘right’ way to handle relationships. It depends on the 2 ppl involved…their personalities, their attitudes and their views! Just because there is inequality in the relationship, it may not always imply that it is forced or unjust. The dominance of a particular person may not necessarily mean that the submissive person is suffering. It just may be a matter of choice. Maybe their relationship works better this way. While some ppl are more comfortable in having equal roles & responsibility & a more balanced kind of relationship, some others may be happier in letting the other person lead the way, so to speak! Each one has to find out what is best for them!

    In my opinion, no relationship is really equal…be it between friends, partners/spouses, siblings or anything else…the more mature of the two will always shoulder a larger responsibility towards making the relationship work! This is a line my mum always keeps telling me 🙂

    • Iya says:

      Hi Mansi, thanks for your comment. I agree to your1st point. i never implied that the its forced or unjust. and thats why i was curious to understand how the other partner feels in that kind of a set up..
      to your second point, in my opinion, balanced relations do exist. its not mathematics so the equilibrium point might differ, but there exists relations where both partners feel equally empowered..

  3. Pixie says:

    I don’t know really! Because we share taking decisions.. we balance things out and when 1 person steps up to take a decision, the other person always shows support…

  4. Iya says:

    true that and thats why i was curious!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s